I guess she seemed to like it, but probably was enduring it.
You know what, I don't miss it either. Since I've been going back to church, I do feel better. I've been going to counseling and am making good progress the counselor says. I just feel terrible.
She is making an appointment with a mediator, so my hope was dashed yesterday when she emailed me that. I have not emailed her immediatly after gettting her emails. I wait. I email her politly and let her drive this, but give her my basic input (that day doesn't work, but the other day could...let me know when and I will make the time work).
I don't want a divorce. I want to be better, and am determined to be better. I miss my wife, I miss my kids.
I get to go back home today and be with the kids for the next week and she will leave and go to our old, empty house for the next week. I'm just sick.
Last night I slept terrible. I dreamt that I was begging my wife to come back and she wouldn't. I woke up and was crying. I hate this, I want it to end. I know I sound like everyone else going through this, but it feels so terrible.
I just want it all to end; but I also want to fix myself and am working on that. Talking to a counselor one week at a time is tough though. I have family and friends, but obviously there are things I can't talk to them about that I can with the counselor.
