(Yeah, sure, that's all the world needs - marriagebusters dot com, the place where all the MLC Crazies can hang out and fuel each others' delusional behaviors! )
*LOL* can you imagine the damage that they could do?? Why is negativity spread much easier than positivity? Look at the horrors that so called Chinese Whispers can bring about so quickly - people always seem so happy to spread the bad, but never the good news.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Thank you all for your best wishes. I am sending everyone here my best wishes and prayers too for positive outcomes with their respective H's and W's.
I haven't been on here as much as I had to send S's internet USB back to him and I haven't had a chance to organise the net at home yet.
Our discussion on Friday night began with a very angry H venting that I had been playing games with him and how much he hated game playing.
After calming him down, I was able to explain my actions in a positive light not as game playing but to look after and protect myself firstly and secondly to spark a renewed interest by him in me to lead into hopefully a reconcilliation.
We discussed many issues pertaining to our M from many years ago when the kids were little, the damage that an interferring MIL had done, stress and tiredness from us both working full time jobs which led to a severe decrease in sex and how all these issues fuelled resentment that built up over time along with his belief that I didn't mingle enough with his friends.
I validated most of his complaints and to be honest he was right. I also explained to him how he had contributed to the above problems as well. He saw my points and accepted the part he had played.
At that point he was unsure of whether we would get back together but he said our talk had definitely saved the R at that point and a big discussion was necessary.
A lot of other smaller issues were discussed, so much I can't remember all of it.
He told me he wasn't going away for the long weekend he planned instead wanted to do it as a trip with me which we will organise soon.
We discussed what each want in a partner, this was very important because we found each of us is what we want in a partner only in the form of when we first met, fun and spontaneous, someone to share experiences with. Now being virtually child free we can do this.
Sex was a big part of the discussion and we agreed that a great sex life is extremely important to a R and without it a R cannot survive.
Since this discussion a lot of things have changed for us. We are communicating far more, the tension has disappeared and we are very comfortable in each others presence.
H is taking an interest in things I am doing and I am taking a greater interest in H's interests, I think we forgot how each other's interests are just as important as our own.
Massive improvement in the bedroom. H no longer clinging to the edge of the bed and LM has taken on a new meaning and I think we are now even more in tune with each other and our respective needs and desires. Fantasies were discussed, nothing icky, just things we would like the other to do, this has made such a difference. Variety is the spice of life as they say
We do a lot of flirting now during the day via txt, I think I harboured a lot of inhibitions from a strict catholic upbringing and extremely strict controlling mother.
All inhibitions are now banished and a new Oz has emerged. A new confident, sexy lady not afraid to tell her H what she wants and definitely not afraid to give her H what he wants.
For the first time last night, after the gym, we went for a swim together then went home and cooked dinner together which was lovely, a very enjoyable night.
Well that's it in a nutshell, bear in mind this is a shortened version but as you can see issues from the past have a hell of lot to do with how our M and R ends up 20 or so years down the track.
This sounds like a wonderful turn around in your situation Oz and I wish you every happiness and success as you embark on your new relationship with H. (((((Oz)))))
I will still be hanging around here, because so many wonderful people have supported me here, I feel it is important to give something back and still supoort and help where I can.
Over the moon for you, its wonderful news that one of us has got a new start and gives the rest of us hope for one for us.. Better news to hear you are staying as it would be losing a friend now, we do need to find a way to be friends as normal folk off here at some point.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Yes M is back on track and so is R. We do still have some issues that need a bit of fine tuning, but slowly does it and we are at least streets ahead on where we were this time last week. I really need to read some of the threads on keeping solution focused after a reconcilliation, don't want to fall into any bad old habits again which I don't think will happen.
Just a quick update, H is going away this weekend for the jet skiing weekend that was planned with buddies.
I am okay with this as I think that now is a good time for us both to have a couple of days apart, so we can miss each other again.
H reminded me today of his trip, except this time, I got full details, where, who with and the time he would be back Saturday for the party.
It will be a good breather as we have been rather "close" since last Friday night, so I don't think it will hurt, he understands that I will continue my GALing Friday night and insecurities appear to have been banished. I have no doubt he will call and be curious as to what I have been up to and that is okay as well as long as he is as forthcoming with me about his activities.
Perhaps this is a new found respect for each others own GALing time.
)