8 months into it, first post

[EJohn]

Thanks for the response. Yes, definitely feel she's cake eating, and that I'm her safety net. Next week will be interesting when were together for 5 plus hours without the kids. So far, anytime she has reality hit her, that's when she starts having second thoughts on divorce, so the class might jar something in her. I've already told her that I'm not waiting by the phone for her.

I had started to date a very wonderful woman a month back, but then my stbx started in on the reconcilation talks, and it put me back on the roller coaster, so I broke it off, don't want to drag someone else down. I don't think she knows I was dating someone. I thought about asking one of her friends to somehow let it slip, but that just feels like mind games, and I'm not intersted in doing that. A few months back a female coworker friend of mine was hanging with the me and the kids every so often, and the kids would tell her about it. That really bugged her. Of course then I'd get the "I'm happy for you and I hope I get to meet her someday....just want you to be happy" emails. My friend is engaged, and there was never anything going on between us, but still, got her mind going.

I don't know how to show I've moved on without actually dating someone. Last week I wouldn't answer my cell when she'd call, and I wouldn't respond to the voicemail for a few hours or the next day, unless it was important, kids. Then when I did finally answer the phone, she asked why I was being short, not answering the phone, and accused me of being an a@# again. I told her that I just wasn't interested in talking to her. Then I started thinking that I wasn't being an attractive person, who would want to be with someone like that, so I reverted back to being happy around her. Figure I will look good whether she comes back to me or not. If she does mention getting back together again, I'll do the same and say there nothing to discuss until he's gone. I think it's a pretty big IF at this point, but who knows.

Times running out. Only 43 days left till the final hearing. I'm meeting with the lawyer October 8th to put a proposal together. I'm hoping that she asks for an extension, one to give us more time, and two, I think she'll lose the house when she stops recieving money from me. She gets $160 a month to equalize debt. That'll stop after the final. If she loses the house, my credit tanks too. She isn't able to refinance since the housing market took a dump and we lost all our equity.