Dreams of a New Normal...

[RedSoxFan]

So what are you coaching me to do and why? You are essentially coaching your husband.

It is not really me coaching my husband cuz I don't have OM like your W. Let them fizzle out and then I can coach you.

If we truly believe there is hope, what does it look like and how do we leave room for it while still taking care of ourselves and our children??

We do the best we can.

OK, I didn't communicate that well. My sitch isn't that much different from yours. You're telling me there's hope so I'm saying if you believe in what you're saying to me, you have to find a way to take care of yourself and your boys while still leaving room for hope...ya?

[aliveandkicking]

4 hour convo with H today. He has a GF in Europe as I suspected and do I feel worse? NO. It is all starting to make sense. I'll report more later but I handled the whole thing so well and he is well aware that the stakes are getting higher.

[RedSoxFan]

4 hour convo with H today. He has a GF in Europe as I suspected and do I feel worse? NO. It is all starting to make sense. I'll report more later but I handled the whole thing so well and he is well aware that the stakes are getting higher.

sigh

[aliveandkicking]

Oh no. It is goooood. Trust me. It is coming out now for a reason. I have very little hope for this M. But, if there is hope, this is the narrow path that may lead to it.

If not, seriously, I am ready to move one. I'm not saying there will never be tears, but I would way rather be me than him right now. I'm clean, I'm lucid, I've hit the wall and bounced back...he doesn't know which way is up and he has some other chick in the middle of it now.

As far as I'm concerned, it sucks to be him.

[givingitmyall]

Oh no. It is goooood. Trust me. It is coming out now for a reason. I have very little hope for this M. But, if there is hope, this is the narrow path that may lead to it.

If not, seriously, I am ready to move one. I'm not saying there will never be tears, but I would way rather be me than him right now. I'm clean, I'm lucid, I've hit the wall and bounced back...he doesn't know which way is up and he has some other chick in the middle of it now.

As far as I'm concerned, it sucks to be him.

Sorry for your news, but you seem to be handling it well. And yes, nothing but down side for him.

Question is what is it you want?

[RedSoxFan]

Oh no. It is goooood. Trust me. It is coming out now for a reason. I have very little hope for this M. But, if there is hope, this is the narrow path that may lead to it.

If not, seriously, I am ready to move one. I'm not saying there will never be tears, but I would way rather be me than him right now. I'm clean, I'm lucid, I've hit the wall and bounced back...he doesn't know which way is up and he has some other chick in the middle of it now.

As far as I'm concerned, it sucks to be him.

I'd rather be you too. but that's one long conversation.

[aliveandkicking]

Sorry for your news, but you seem to be handling it well. And yes, nothing but down side for him.

The news is liberating. There was a woman he was "friends" with before he left me. I had expressed my discomfort with his spending time with her and he insisted they were friends and that I was being unreasonable. That was really a rough time and I felt so insecure and crazy. Well, he blew it. He can scream until the cows come home about what a b*tch I was or how I "killed this marriage" but he and I both know full well that his actions led to the ultimate result here...that is emotional freedom for me.

Now, he has a far away lover who he can romanticize indefinitely. He's stuck. He wants me, he misses me, but he has her on his mind and she is so much more exciting than me...beautiful, famous, talented, successful...but somewhere he knows that it is fantasy. He wont have a wife in her and he wont feel the warmth and security that he has with me. Once he and I are over, where will they go with it? He can't live with her there and if she ever came here, well, we know how those relationships go. Talk about disillusionment...the exciting far away secret lover moves in and then what?

I hate that this is my life but I picked this insecure star-f*cker so I've got to face it.

Question is what is it you want?

No clue my friend. I know that I am so thrilled that I do not have a boyfriend right now. I want to be about me for a while.

It is funny, with regard to H. I can't know if I want him. I don't know who he is. I don't know what he is or isn't capable of...I don't know what he could do to be my man again.

I feel really good. I said things without fear today. I called him on his sh*t. It may have been 4 hours wasted but, it was a stark reminder that a) I've still got something he can't quite let go of and b) WASs tend to be full of sh*t. I also validated when it was warranted and I just feel really good about how I handled it all.

His last words in our conversation, "I'm just confused." Not bad at all.

[RedSoxFan]

His last words in our conversation, "I'm just confused."

For his sake I hope he gets unconfused quickly....he's going to wake up lonely with no family no wife and no European gf.

[pearlharbr]

Ahh, doesn't it feel good to know that you weren't crazy? Now you know for sure you can and should trust your gut. I think that alone is worth the four hours.

[Kalni]

Oh dear, sounds so familiar... And your feelings echo my feelings. My stxH SAID that the truth why our family is broken to pieces IS his affair with the woman he was "just friends" with for a year before he moved out and not me being a horrible person and partner...

You are right, if there is any chance to reconcile, the truth had to come out. And the fact that he told you the truth is already a hit to "their" relationship. I think right now, it doenst matter what you really want. If you keep being strong and determined about YOU and your life, he will have to move quickly. THEN you figure out what you want...
K

PS...jerks!!!