It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Thank you so much, (((BM and Twink))), for your understanding, support and encouragement. I really needed it! I'm pretty sure this mood crash I've had the last few days has to do with hormones (Yay, perimenopaus!! )

And the fact that I am loosing my C who has been with me throughout this whole thing, is weighing heavily on me. Nobody in my "real life" seems to understand how hard this all is for me. They all say how great I am doing, and mostly I am proud of myself and know that I will eventually "get there"..... But, if I have a bad day and call my family/friends, I feel like they don't see it as a "bad day"...... they see it as I'm "still not getting over it already".

I was thinking today that I really would love to be able to talk to my Dad right now. He and my mom split after 30 years of M. Til the day he died 4 years ago, he still didn't know why she left, and she swears he "threw her out". My dad was a hard-a** Marine and never showed his feelings, but I remember him calling me at 2am crying because he missed her so. He never dated anyone else, and continued to pay her alimony right up until he died, even though she had re-married 6 years before that. Don't get me wrong.....my dad was no saint, and I understand why my mom left...... but he tried to be an honorable man, and do the right thing. And I think I could have used his support and understanding right now....

You're right, BM, time to get back to living.....