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Journaling... Lousy day except for happening to see Gypsy this afternoon (oh, she of the tough-ass-usually-right-on-the-money advice for me).
Wife called to ask if okay to come over to look for winter shoes. Fine. I failed to ask exactly when. At 8:45 I had my phone in my hand to call and say, "it's late, this will have to be done another time," and the phone rang in my hand and it was her in her car almost to the house. Did I say forget it, it's too late? No. She came over and while I was prepping a room for painting she spent ten minutes with DIL whispering. How rude. I ignored her, responded matter-of-factly when necessary, and was simply glad when she was gone.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Journaling... Lousy day except for happening to see Gypsy this afternoon (oh, she of the tough-ass-usually-right-on-the-money advice for me).
Wife called to ask if okay to come over to look for winter shoes. Fine. I failed to ask exactly when. At 8:45 I had my phone in my hand to call and say, "it's late, this will have to be done another time," and the phone rang in my hand and it was her in her car almost to the house. Did I say forget it, it's too late? No. She came over and while I was prepping a room for painting she spent ten minutes with DIL whispering. How rude. I ignored her, responded matter-of-factly when necessary, and was simply glad when she was gone.
S 30, DIL 31 & GS 4 have been living with me for 6+mos while looking for their own place. They found one 3 wks ago. Moving in 11/1.
And she bombed my S. Became a WAW as of about 3:00 today. Came with her mother. Took everything. She's living with her parents now.
Sigh.
Listened to my son for quite a while tonight (Lord knows he's listened to me).
I've always refrained from unsolicited advice with my adult "kids". But I'm sure he'll be asking. What do I tell him? That I know what works, it just obviously didn't work for me?
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Wow. Sorry to hear about your S, but he couldn't have any better source on what to do than you, his father.
You already know how much he will need you. And you know what to do.
Who knows what will happen with his M? Who knows what will happen with any of our M's? I don't think the definition of success depends upon whether or not one's M is saved or not. That is certainly one of the goals, if not one of the most important.
But, I honestly think the main goal, upon which all of the other goals must rest, is saving yourself by improving, geeting in touch with yourself, and developing and maintaining a positive and healthy POV. If you can achieve that, then you have suceeded b/c if you become that person (As Sandi says, the person only a fool would leave) and your spouse still chooses to leave, then that's their loss and, in the end, were their problems really about you in the first place?
