trying hard to figure things out

[twistfigure]

I saw my husband for the first time in 2.5 months today. I was walking out of the bathroom at working and he was walking down the hall. We actually talked for about 10 minutes. He has lost so much weight. He was only about 155 when he left me and he look like he's lost at least 15 lbs. He has this sad puppy look on his face the whole time I was talking to him. We talked about me buying a house and needing him to go ahead with a legal seperation. I told him he looked handsome and he told me I looked beautiful. I asked him if he was happier without me and he said he didn't know. He couldn't say yes but he didn't realy know what happiness was for him as he hadn't been happy for so long. I asked him if he missed me and he said yes. I told him I missed him and he said "no you don't" in the joking manner he used to say it when I would tell him I missed him when he was away from home. It was a great conversation and I stayed strong- didn't show any emotion. I just worry so much about things. I hate that he's stressed and losing weight and being unhealthy. I worry about buying a house and then him wanting to get back together. I worry that everything I do is a mistake and teh worst thing to do for "us".