After browsing so many sitch's, I decided to join and share my sitch with everyone on this board. I feel like everyone on this board gives wonderful advice and support. I am glad I finally joined.
Here is my sitch:
Girlfriend turns 32 in late March. She begins to distance from our 3 year old S and myself. Drops bomb in mid-April and says that she is thinking about moving out. I went ahead and tried to make some changes even though she did not give any specific things that lead to her decision. When I asked her why she wanted to move out, she said because I did not change a lot of our S diapers (huh?).
Come Mother's Day weekend, she decides to go visit family out of state for the weekend. Returns from overnight visit and completely blows off my son and I on Mother's Day. That's when I noticed that something was wrong with her. She did not want to spend any time with either of us. She looked like she was going to cry when she saw presents and cheesecake me and my son made for her. She ends up leaving that afternoon to get some space. She returns and lays in bed looking completely lost.
She continued to say that she wanted to move out after Mother's Day. After a rough weekend, I decided to move out for a few days to give her some space. Even after spending a few days out of the apartment, she continued to state that she wanted to leave. That's when I decided to move out and go to my parents. She allowed me to take S with me to my parents so she could focus on finding an apartment even though she had already been " looking" for almost two months.
Once we moved out, she spent minimal time with our son and I. Always had an excuse for not seeing me or our S. I began to suspect OM, but I had no concrete evidence. She states that my son can live with me since she just wanted to live on her own. Towards the end of June, she finds an apartment 30 minutes away and moves out. My family and I do not hear from her for 1 week. Finally shows up on July 3rd to pick my S. Yet, does not want to tell me her new address. She spends the entire 4th of July weekend with our S even though she tried to bring home sooner.
So for a 2 months, I sit and ponder what went wrong. Once I found this site and read MLC for Dummies and the 6 stages of MLC, I knew that was 100% her. She followed the MLC for Dummies script to perfection (cake eating, button pushing, emotional detachment,lies and deceit, etc).
Finally, I decided to investigate if there was another man. Two weeks ago, I find out that she has indeed moved in with an 36-year old single man with 2 D's that live in the state that borders ours to the east. The OM man works at the same company she works at. So, I believe EA began in April.
So, now me and my son have moved in with my parents until we find a home. We are currently looking to purchase a home since I have accumulated enough for a down payment. Yet, my Son's mother has not helped out financially in any way. She only comes by to pick our son on Saturday's. She spends at most 24 hrs with him. She does not contact my son or I during the week at all. She even failed to call him or visit him on his birthday a month ago.
The first few months have been rough for both of us. My son has been accustomed to not having his mother around. I am trying to hold it all together. Luckily, I have a wonderful family and close friends to help me through this.
Since she has left, I have not contacted her unless it dealt with our son. She never answers the phone and only communicates via text message.
So, now that she has moved in with other man, she says she is "happy" yet her actions show a different picture. Friends from her work say she looks depressed and does not socialize with the majority of fellow employees. Her cigarette use has increased, lost a lot of weight and looks unhealthy (drugs?).
I definitely know she is in the replay stage, with a mixture of depression and withdrawal. So, I have now decided to grab a seat on the curb and watch her go by.
I know that she misses us because she gets emotional the few times we have talked about our situation.
So, please feel free to stop by and discuss my sitch or any other thing. I look forward to giving any other information that can help us get through this ordeal.
