The add big deal, and yes I have it,my 180 with it is when I'm round the kids,being the dad they needed to see more of.What's next,whats next.I mean I ran them ragged in just a couple hours, but it was a fun ragged, not a can we please go now. I put a time limit on every activity.
Also with therapy,been easier to recognize when mood was changing or frustration was setting in and I do this PMA excercise.
Sounds like you had a pleasant day with the kids. Good job and the bike doesn't sound that bad either. Fixing it up will give you something to do and focus on...both very good things.
You were looking for examples...though mine is very twisted, my wife has only used the "D" word 2-3 times during the entire situation. The posts are spread about, but you should be able to find them. In my situation I focused on self, kids, and my business. Tried to get focus off her and let her do her thing as much as possible.
I think this is a rumor, but it got to me from wifes' friend that she was filing divorce, that was two wks ago and the person that told me heard it from a person that told her,etc. And i guess the rumor started at a Bunko game.
If the wife hasn't said it to me, then i should disregard it, huh?
Another question do you think the not sharing the house part was just to try to hurt me over the car deal?
She emailed me this morning on some form for pictures,emailed her back as to where form was and an email from D's school cnslr.
I think this is a rumor, but it got to me from wifes' friend that she was filing divorce, that was two wks ago and the person that told me heard it from a person that told her,etc. And i guess the rumor started at a Bunko game.
If the wife hasn't said it to me, then i should disregard it, huh?
Stop talking about it....if you are not the one who brought it up, then change the subject, smile and say your doing fine and do not go into details. NOTHING good will come of it.
It hasn't happened yet so you have no choice but to disregard it.
If you only deal with what's on the plate in front of you....you still have more than enough to keep you busy.
I used to keep a really thick rubberband on my wrist and when my mind went to places it shouldn't (and that still happens, just not as much) I'd snap that bad boy. Talk about behavior modification. Of course you have to do it every time.
It was a "nothing" rumor....you do "nothing" with it....PERIOD. In today's world this is probably how the discussion went;
Wife-Ayk and I are having some problems and he has moved out for bit. Friend-Are you going to get a divorce? Wife-Don't know
and from there turned into so and so's wife is getting a divorce...in other words...a rumor. Deal with what you know and can control...that being just YOU!
Last wk I would've flipped out,but didn't have you to vent to yet or say STOP. Still flipped in my head alittle when found out wife was out with the neighbor past midnite leaving the kids home alone. I did mention something to D about that all I said is honey sorry your mom was out,don't be too embarrassed.Wouldn't have known if kids didn't tell me.
Screw it, if you want to live life, you need to be willing to crash and burn.
To me I've turned detachment into, she's hurt me enough, other than filing she can't hurt me anymore, so try away,I've repressed my feelings to the point that I just can't stop smiling and up until that post this afternoon,I flipping worked.
Two seeing the kids at their convenience...Well I never ever had any trouble figuring out a short cut. See son's fball team is 0 and 4, they suck and I've asked to coach his team since April. But see you gotta keep asking one and two,you wouldn't know it now, but I played for a National Championship team so yesterday a day after a 40-6 trouncing, I told the coach,what I used to be,where I've been football wise and mentioned the team I was part of, now he's more than happy to have me coach. I'm D coordinator starting tomorrow.Don't think Son will be seeing me at his convenience now will he. Oh I know nothing about BBall, but school called I'll be his head coach. Sometimes it isn't what you know, but who you know and attitude will get you hired or fired.
With D,the deal is I forwarded that email from cnslr to wife,it was the best thing to do,kid wise,but now D is feeling bad for Dad, so she has made an effort the last two days to be respectful and loving and I know deep down, she knows her mom is off her rocker.Big switch,I'm gonna ride this wave.Plus helping her with her homework and hanging with her friends has helped,I'm starting to get my cool back.
I know I blew my chance last wk to be back at home,I asked D again when mom was debating me coming home,it was before the car.I'm gonna be patient, being away this long has only given me an opportunity to learn and I've really only taken a couple days to practice what you all have been preaching.
But my internal feelings and mind are where they need to be. Jack I know it, so you can start posting to me again you wise gruff one, because I am thriving. Gained back 12lbs of the 40 I lost in a little over a wk.
You said you are repressing your feelings. You can't do that exactly. Yes in the situation, at the moment, but then, you have to deal with them. You have to understand them, feel them, and let them go, or one of these days you will erupt like a volcano. (People talk about expoding but I always see a volcano).
As for being in the house, yes it would be easier to monitor the kids, but beyond that...
I don't think I would push on that one at all. This is so hard to watch every minute of every day. It is.
As for D, my H has never ever said the word. Oh he has hinted at it, said other words that indicate that is what he is thinking but he has never ever said the word. Does it mean anything? I'm still here aren't I?
If she filed you will know soon enough.
Have you ever watched Suite Life of Zach and Codey? On Disney?
There is an episode, the kids are in band class, and Codey wants to pass a message to his girlfriend. "I want you back". Well by the time it got through all of the kids to the girlfriend, she was told "Codey thinks you look like a yak" or something to that effect. But it was very truthful about message passing and interpretation.
So just put the rumor aside until it is no longer a rumor. And don't try to find out in the meantime either.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
