I reached out and brushed off his arm without even thinking about it...
This is funny to me as well b/c just two months after X filed for our D, we were at D's birthday party and X reached out to fix my hair and pick something off my shirt.
Interesting where instincts and habits replace feelings, isn't it?
How are you doing? Funny how sometimes even now when ex and I have to speak to each other, one of us will call the other "Honey". Hopefully 21 years of history will figure out a path to the past where it belongs!
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
My day was quiet mish, thanks. Took my D to her rythmic gymnastics, grocery shopping while she was there, paid some bills in the morning before work after dropping the kids to school, ordered pizza,attacked the lice monsters (didnt find any actually), and watched my favourite greek comedian for an hour... I am heading to bed in a while.
stbxH called me as nothing has happened and was disappointed at my very distant response. I am developing a "leave me the heck alone" attitude towards everybody. I think it is my way to get some perspective.
Sent him an email with a correction to the excel file regarding finances. My daughter will not attend English pre school, she chose gymnastics so the cost is different. I said "tell me where you disagree".
I added that "I am sorry we got here. It is difficult for a couple to overcome a one night stand which can be considered a mistake, imagine how impossible it is to overcome a 3 year relationship which I am not sure would have ended if I had not found out the truth. I cant do it. Especially since you keep lying about a few things that you know I KNOW: (i refer to him saying he never thought of living with her while he knows I found letters of her from year 1, right after he moved out, saying "I cant believe you are thinking of us living together we have come a long way together" all excited and happy. He told me that was what SHE thought and pretty soon she realised he wasnt looking for an apt or an opportunity to move in with her. To me it is a detail but one that makes me feel uneasy about his honesty (ok whatever it is he has)...
Hey K, your stbx is on the defensive. He will not say anything that he thinks will hinder his chances of getting back together. You expect him to say to you that he was planning on moving in with her? Or that she was pregnant? Or that she met your kids to see if they got along or whatever? How would that really make you feel? I am sure that you would not say, wow, stbx is being honest with me....maybe I should give us another chance. I find it interesting that you think that he would still be leading a double life if you had not caught them. I also think a one night stand is a mistake. A three year relationship is more than a mistake........
Indeed....a 3 year R is a decision, not a mistake.
K, he decided to live a double life, he decided to lie repeatedly to you even when confronted about her, he decided to destroy his family.
You are now deciding to move on with your life. Why rehash any more of this with him. You will not get satisfactory answers, assuming he can even give them to you. It seems like he doesn't know his own mind or why he did all of this really. Let it go. Leave it behind.
Quote:
I added that "I am sorry we got here. It is difficult for a couple to overcome a one night stand which can be considered a mistake, imagine how impossible it is to overcome a 3 year relationship which I am not sure would have ended if I had not found out the truth. I cant do it. Especially since you keep lying about a few things that you know I KNOW:
IMO, you're beating a dead horse here. You've said it all. Told him your feelings. Interrogated him. Is it really worth the pain of bringing it up anymore or is it done to try to punish him? I guess I'm not sure what the motivation is here.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I think Kalni is kind of doing the right thing by trying to convince him to give her the D. Otherwise, she is going to spend 3 more years and a lot of money trying to get the D done.
Maybe using a little bit of guilt is what is needed. Something along the lines of "You have caused me to waste 3 years of my life. Please do me the favor of releasing me from the burdeon of being married to you."
