Fab news ((Oz)) - don't spoil the trifle in not waiting for the custard to set! In other words - wait now and move forward slowly. More of the same ... yes, that old chestnut as it's evidently working.
This is such great news.
Do you have the long weekend over there this weekend?
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
I will be taking it slowly slowly. It's funny, because I feel like I am going on a date, I have running around trying to get the outfit right, the makeup it's seems silly to be feeling like this but maybe that is what we lose and forget about in the game of life and M, forget about little things, we spent so much time getting ready and looking right when dating but once M over time you stop that or don't worry as much. I even said to the furry ones who were watching me as thought I was nuts, I feel like a schoolgirl again.
No long weekend here Nell, we don't have until Melbourne Cup which is in months time.
I am so excited for you! I hoped all his dramatic actions would be a sign of some new positive growth or change on his part. You are so right that we end up forgetting in marriage to treat our men as lovers.
If there is some of the conversation that you can share, would love to know what you learned & his viewpoint.
The coffee date became lunch, then dinner and he stayed the night, he wasn't initially going to stay the night. We did have some more talks, which is good, as the talking is coming a lot easier now.
In our big conversation, he asked what I was doing on the computer so much, who was I talking to etc, because he felt I was being secretive about it and hiding the computer from him. I told him I had been on a site where people experiencing marriage problems but were committed to trying to resolve them supported each other. I didn't mention anything about posting though. He was happy with that and it was not mentioned again.
We still have some ground to cover and I think we both know and have accepted that our old M is now gone and we are starting out on a different level now. More mature and much wiser.
I will definitely share some our conversation of the other night, I have to do some actual work this morning but will check in and post a bit later on.
Oh Oz, this sounds encouraging. It was good the way you were able to explain the site, too.
Interested in how you communicated that you "have accepted that our old M is now gone and we are starting out on a different level" - I would like to get that one across to my H. I don't thnk that it's the right time for me to be saying that to him yet but want to be prepared for when it is.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Nell, in the two kinda short R talks I've had with H so far I've also said this. I do accept the old marriage is gone. I want to go forward differently. H doesn't believe me yet but hopefully day-by-day actions will show him this. Obviously from Oz's story who knows what the next day might hold, so you have to do the best you can with communication to H each day and take care of yourself too. Hugs!
Oz such good news that he is thinking it all through and best of all communicating with you, Im so pleased for you and glad that all of us going "its ok hang on in there" with our fingers crossed very tightly behind our back were somewhere near the truth.. Looking forward to the next installment!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I told him I had been on a site where people experiencing marriage problems but were committed to trying to resolve them supported each other. I didn't mention anything about posting though. He was happy with that and it was not mentioned again.
Terrific answer!
I remember when I told my W almost exactly the same thing (way back in the height of her MLC) - the general idea of the site, but no specifics. Her reply at the time was that she was envious of me having a support system like that, and that she felt all alone and wished she had one that was similar. (Yeah, sure, that's all the world needs - marriagebusters dot com, the place where all the MLC Crazies can hang out and fuel each others' delusional behaviors! )
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
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