We came back home and filled out the October calendar. Then I had a checklist of things to go over so we could get things settled.
You went through a discussion I'm still praying I never have to. My question is, after all the DBing work, did you ever think there was a real chance you could have turned things around or was the path pretty much set in stone?
I'm looking for hope today.
If you are curious, I have been on this site for about 20 months now...there have been many twists and turns. Several times my H has made overtures about coming home. He moved out only to want to move back in with me 4 months later, only to move out again 6 months later...just one week ago he told me he was emailing a no-contact letter to OW and scheduleing a marriage retreat for US. The next day he dumped me again...(ow too).
So in short, I never ever allowed myself to think we were over. Even now I hold out the possibility that we could reconile after divorce.
But I am not going to stay in limbo any more, I made that choice for myself. I couldn't have made it before, we are only ready when we are ready. And after so many false starts it hurt my heart too much to stay where we were.
So I am moving forward with life and will see what happens from here. It does feel good to be 'in control' of my life, granted I believe God has a plan for me. But after so long watching, waiting, hoping, I decided it was time.
