I'm not sure how she took it, but I really was doing nothing other than seeing how she was feeling. I wasn't all that upset that she didn't respond. Anyway...I see how she could possibly see it as pursuing, so just in case I won't do it anymore and will ask her how she is feeling when I see her at home.
I reached one of my goals with wife yesterday. She asked me if I was going grocery shopping with her. May not seem like much, but it was one of my goals I noted a short time ago. So...I have made 2 of them - sleeping in our bed and that one. Still two left - having her simply touch me for no real reason, and get the good bye hug in the morning.
We had a good day yesterday - shopped together, played scrabble and had nice dinner with S15 while d18 was at work. Odd note from yesterday - out of the blue, my wife said "we should have your mom here for Thanksgiving". I am estranged from the rest of my family, so just having my mom would be fine. My mom has no idea of the situation with my wife and I and I believe my wife knows that. Anyway..thought that was an odd comment - nice, but odd.
I would mark that higher in the category than the shopping invitation. She is actually thinking of the future with you in it, although not very much in the future. I think this is a nice step, along with the others you noted.
Well....since we are still planning on going to Mexico for XMAS with the kids as usual, it's not really that much about thinking of the future with me in it - since XMAS is afte. Still it seems odd that she would offer and open up the possibility of having to discuss our situation with my mom..
Alarm went off and first thing wife said was "what time did you come home last night?" I said "the usual" which is true. She said she didn't hear me come home - I was very quiet since me waking her up is something that really annoys her. Anyway, just odd that she was curious where I might have been. But that's not the most important thing from this morning.
We were talking for a minute or two and then I said "want a five minute cuddle? She said no. I said "how about one minute?" She said ok. We wound up cuddling in bed for 5-10 minutes. Considering we both slept naked, this is no small thing. We have not cuddled or anything close to that in the month since I returned here.
When she said "I have to get up" I said nothing and then she got ready for work and left. Still no good bye hug - but the cuddle is more than I expected.
I know some of you will say asking for a cuddle was pursuing and needy, but it's not like I begged or pleaded. Just opening the door to physical affection is important - or at least I think so. I will make sure I don't look or try for more of the same type of affection, so that my wife doesn't think I will try to take a mile when she gives an inch.
Feedback here folks -Was it pursuing? Good or bad move?
Was she there in the cuddle or did it feel like you were hugging a piece of driftwood?
In my opinion there's nothing wrong with asking as long as internally she has all the room in the world to say no. In other words, as long as you will accept a no in the same way you would accept a yes.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Yes, it did feel like she was there. Maybe not 100%, but that is understandable. I would have excepted a no in the same way. In fact, I expected a no. I think my making no big deal out of it, and now not trying to take it further is important. In hindsight, it would have been smart for me to end it, but sometimes it's just nice to be natural and not think out every move.
When I was going throughh it all I found that giving massages were very affective. A good 10 minute massage can give her the message that your touch can feel good to her and it is in a nonsexual way. Then after a few sessions over the next few weeks, try one that is a little more sexual in nature, and look for a response. Sexual tension is good for a R.
Wife and I did not see each other yesterday due to work schedules and I was sleeping when she left for work today. I believe she is out of town for the next couple of days, so it will be interesting to see what things are like after a few days apart.
Let's see if she contacts me at all, if I don't contact her.
Oops. Let's she if she contacts me at all, WHEN I don't contact her.
I was thinking that I should let her know if I get some good news in my search for a new family doctor (the holy grail her in Ontario), but that could wait until I see her Friday or Saturday.
