"So here is the question of the day.... Should I just keep on doing what I am doing and see what happens... or should I come right out and ask her what her fear of moving back into our room is. AND if she says she would but does not want to become intimate... should I settle for that right now hopping that it will just keep getting better and maybe someday?"
OK, did you read PM?????? What is wrong with this whole question/various approaches?
OK, did you read PM?????? What is wrong with this whole question/various approaches?
Do some work on yourself here. :-)
Well the meeting with the finance lady went good. Karma got me though. We stopped at Pete’s coffee first. My wife was having a hard time putting the top on the cup. She said she was weak. I gave her a bad time saying you are just a girl. WELL we sat down in the finance ladies office and I went to take a drink from my coffee and yep you guessed it my lid came off and I spilt coffee all over my crotch... We finished early and it was too soon to go to lunch so wife wanted to walk around this store close by the restaurant. Had a great time (with my wet pants). We walked by some lingerie and I pointed out this G string type bathing suit and said she would look great in this. She said ya right let’s get away from this stuff. later we were by the fitting rooms and I asked her if she wanted to go make out in one of the rooms she smiled and again said ya right…I had plenty of body contact during this excursion. and she is not getting mad at my advances so I guess I am doing ok.
YES OT I am going to start reading the book again. The only problem I have with it is I still think it is something that two people need to read together. Well got ta go will update soon...
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
"The only problem I have with it is I still think it is something that two people need to read together."
Then you are missing the main point about the importance of individuation
Guess so
Doc
I have to agree. Sure, there are lots of ways that couples can grow their sexual connection discussed in the book - but those are intended to come after you have built a solid foundation as differentiated individuals in a loving relationship. Make sense?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Thanks for the 2X4s Rob and OT... I have started reading the book over. BUT………….
I must be doing something right... Today my W was going out to lunch with two of her GF. I sold some wood and when I got home W was folding clothes. I gave her a 20 and said if was for her lunch. She said thanks... Then later………………. As she was leaving we were standing in the family room and I went to give her a good bye kiss and SHE GAVE ME A HUG…. all on her own. I hugged her back and said have a great time. Later I noticed she had put her wedding ring back on. She has not worn them in over a month. Now she did wear them all the time because she says they are small and hurt her fingers but in the past she at least put them on when she went out. Well for the last month she did not even put them on when she went out….. Today I meet up with another high school buddy that lives in town that I have not seen in about a year. When I got home dinner was ready and I told wife I don’t think she realizes how lucky she is. How one of my buddies is basically an alcoholic and the one I saw today look pregnant with his beer belly. Then I said “but I guess I am lucky too”. After dinner I went to give her a after dinner kisses AND again she hugged me...
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Things are going good. W has been busy rebuilding D’s Computer so I have been leaving her alone. I have re-hooked up with a high school buddy that lives in town. I went out Monday night and watched him play pool. Boy did we talk about old times and the girls we used to date. My buddy back in washington called and his wife fell and broke her femer bone.(she is way overweight so this is not good) apearantly she will be in the hospital for a few weeks. I have made three wood sales so far so that is good. No job prospects yet. I read in the paper today that there is a 6-1 job seeker thing right now in my area. Meaning that for every one job opening there are 6 people applying. And as for my wife…. like I said she has been busy but VEEEEERY nice. No intamacy but very nice to me. I have been giving her space but I had an urge to write (ya you know me) so I was listening to some songs and wrote her the following note BUT.. I did not give it to her I read it to her….
Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn But that’s alright... I’m ok It ain’t nothing but another day and Only god knows where I’d be If you ever stop really lovin’ me Now I'm not talkin bout locking down forever, baby. That would be too demanding. I'm just talkin bout two lonely people who might reach a little understanding. More that ever I'd like to see you out in the moonlight I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers And I'd like to check you for ticks.I still get weak at your glance, Isnt that whats called romance? and I get lost in your eyes And I feel my spirits rise And soar like the wind..you see it’s love that I am in. And I dont mind not knowing what Im headed for You can take me to the skies...Its like being lost in heaven When Im lost in your eyes I ain't as good as I once was But I'm as good once as I ever was I’d love you to say.. Hell yeah! Turn it up! Right on! Hell yeah! Sounds good! Sing that song! Guitar man playin' all night long Take me back to where the music hit me Life was good and love was easy Ooh I want you I dont know if I need you But ooh Id die to find out
She laughed and smiled. I told her I want her back with me . She said “I know and I am trying.” I really think she is. but we just have to cross ‘that line’ I do feel that if she would just let go and see what happens it would work out. Anyway OT you would be proud of me I have been making small advances and have had plenty of body contact. I was really moveing along until this computer thing came up and I did want to let her have her space with it. Later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Well OT, I think you were right. The more I think about it my W was never been the one to initiate intimacy. I think it is time for Doc to step out of his comfort zone. Things are going really good. We have been laughing, joking and really getting along. Tomorrow night we are having a send off party for my oldest D. Her company is sending her to Hawaii for a "company meeting" I think after the party the Doc is going to "hit on his wife" Most of my problems are ME. I keep filling in the blanks with bad thoughts. I guess sometimes you got just be like Miles said to joel (Tom Cruise) in the movie Risky business Every now and then say, "What the f#@k." "What the f#@k" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future. Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
all on her own. I hugged her back and said have a great time. Later I noticed she had put her wedding ring back on. She has not worn them in over a month. Now she did wear them all the time because she says they are small and hurt her fingers but in the past she at least put them on when she went out. Well for the last month she did not even put them on when she went out…..
