Gotta Keep Trying 2

[givingitmyall]

I have done this a little, but, admittedly, have not asked her "out" again for a few weeks.

I do think I should try drawing her closer, and maybe she brings up the R discussion.

I don't think she will be overt and say, "Hey, I'm ready to talk about us." I think it will be very subtle. Likely, I think she will just open up enought to walk me down the path of having that discussion with her.

[Energizer Bunny]

I agree.

Asking her out on a date may be a good way to go at bringing her closer. It could be fun instead of a R talk which would be heavy.

[Butterfly1]

If your goal is for her to initiate the R talk, then I agree you might want to invite her out for something fun. If you don't have that goal, but your goal is to have a R talk no matter what, then set the mood and bring something else up. I think it's about what you need and want here.

[givingitmyall]

If your goal is for her to initiate the R talk, then I agree you might want to invite her out for something fun. If you don't have that goal, but your goal is to have a R talk no matter what, then set the mood and bring something else up. I think it's about what you need and want here.

You know, I just want things to move along. But, I'm not impatient, honestly. The goal is to repair the R, if possible. And, part of that is getting her to initiate the R talk.

[Dia]

The goal is to repair the R, if possible. And, part of that is getting her to initiate the R talk.

(bold added)

FIWI, I'm not seeing the connection between repair and her having to be the one to initiate. Not necessarily saying you should, but why does it have to be her?

[givingitmyall]

The goal is to repair the R, if possible. And, part of that is getting her to initiate the R talk.

FIWI, I don't see the connection between repair and her having to be the one to initiate. Not necessarily saying you should, but why does it have to be her?

It doesn't. I just don't want to put pressure on her. Yes, this is the fear part in me. I don't fear that she will D me. That's either going to happen or not. I fear what if the timing is not right.

[Coach]

And, part of that is getting her to initiate the R talk.

Make yourself irresistable.


GIMA (is) Mrs GIMA (feels)
Mysterious - Curios
Confident - Secure
Interested - Attractive
Bold - Attracted
TCB - Loved

[givingitmyall]

And, part of that is getting her to initiate the R talk.

Make yourself irresistable.


GIMA (is) Mrs GIMA (feels)
Mysterious - Curios
Confident - Secure
Interested - Attractive
Bold - Attracted
TCB - Loved

As always, thanks!

[givingitmyall]

Good C session today. Wasn't expecting much but it turned out great.

Basically, C recommended starting to "invade W's space" minimally at first. Pretty much what you guys (Coach in particular) recommended. He agreed with letting W into more of my "rooms" (again, tahnks Coach) and thought more dating activity would be a plus. As for pushing into W's space, he suggested finding excuses to occasionally knock on W's door soon after she shuts it to go to bed - ask her a question. He did stress to go slow. He was also encouraged that it has been over 5 months since the bomb and no mention of D. He actually smiled at this.

So,I was in a great mood. I put the top down on my convertible (beautiful day here today), had some great jazz playing on my iPod, and drove home with the wind in my hair, cooler temp and the sun getting lower in the sky.

Move No. 1: Got home, hugged and kissed the kids. Told W her hair looked great. She looked at me as if to say "what?" then said, "well, thanks, it's nothing special." She still doesn't get that part.

Left the house and went for a longish run with my iPod, this time with some really loud music (Staind). Had a great run. Smell of tea olives in the air for the whole run.

Came in the hosue and W had the grill going on the back deck. I grabbed a bunch of chicken breasts and cooked them on the grill after some olive oil and lemon and pepper seasoning.

Move No. 2: Usually at dinner, we eat at an island in our kitchen. W and kids sit on one side of the isalnd, and I stand on the other side of the island, facing them. Not tonight. I set the place settings out, and sat myself next to my W. I knew when we said the blessing, we would hold hands, which is why I sat myself next to W. I held her hand during the blessing, which was great. Then I joked a lot with the kids and W during dinner.

Took a shower and helped put the kids to bed.

Move No.3: Rather than turn on the TV to the Monday night game, I have kept the TV off. I knew this would encourage W to talk with me. We are working on our laptops, sitting across from each other in the den, even as I type this post.

OK, so new goals for me. We have another Disney trip coming up in 2 weekends for D's birthday. "Home run" goal would be to have W sleep in the same bed with me on that trip. More attainable goal for then and the immediate future would be for W to have physical touching with me - hand holding, touching my arm/shoulder.

Feeling good about things right now. W has been talkative tonight. Seems receptive to everything I've done tonight.

[mishka422]

Sounds like and awesome gameplan GIMA!!!

Tea Olives were the first thing I noticed when I moved here. The scent of them in the air is strong in the spring but absolutely pungent in the fall. They are WONDERFUL! I'm glad you had a nice run. The weather was absolutely beautiful today!