Hey S, you feel the way you do because you have a long history with your h. He is the father of your children and the person you thought you were going to be spending the rest of your life with. Why wouldnt you be feeling like you do?
Dont be so hard on yourself. You are in the grieving process and it takes as long as it takes. You have to walk through all the steps in order to get through to the other side.
And I think we will always have bittersweet feelings towards our h's. Time will dull them, but, they will never be gone completely.
So, feel them, let them wash over you and then get back to living.
Try to let go of trying to understand how your h can do this. You will make yourself crazy trying to "get" something that makes no sense.
It is what it is.
Good for you getting into the dancing.
One day these feelings will be a small, dull ache instead of a sharp pain.
