Gima, I remember that early in my sitch W was acting like everything was going to be OK, but was REALLY hesitant to talk about it. One day at the MC office (back when we were going) she said something to the effect that she didn't want to say that we were going to work this out. It felt to her like she would be giving the green light to going back to how things used to be. She was unhappy with how things used to be so she has a big fear of going back to the old marriage.
It sounds like your W may be in a similar spot. Your limbo may feel better to her than her memory of what your old M was like. She may like the changes and the R improvements, but fear that they will go away and you will go back to how things used to be if you go back to Married Mode.
I know you're against mind reading, but there may be some value in trying to understand the other team to help in your game planning.
Good points EB.
I have a C session today, and I plan on making this issue the focus of today's session. I will likely suspend my C sessions as I think I have gone as far with C as I can right now.
Part of the problem I see that W and I have is W absolutely refused MC initially. Haven't brought that up since then (that was late April). I don't think she would refuse it now. Maybe she would, but I doubt it.
I can see having to initiate a discussion about our R. I just need to figure out how to have that. Right now, my thinking (which is not well thought out yet) is to tell her where I am, that I do not ever want to return to our old M and that I am pretty happy in all facets of my life except with our M. I am on the fence about telling her I feel my feelings for her drying up b/c I don't want to put too much pressure on her. At the same time, I think she needs to know I cannot, and will not, live like we are right now for an extended period of time. It's not fair to either of us.
Initiating the conversation just seems so against DB. Would appreciate anyone else's input on this.
