I just want some normalcy in my life again. I was thinking that i had been a bit tough on him this last week and so today I thought I would send him a little flirty email....as we are in the phase of "trying".
His response was that he does not think of me in this way...and its been so long since we had been that way that he just doesn't really have a response. But, he is recognizing that this is an issue and he is working on it. I said "how?" he says, "well, recognizing that this is a problem is the first real step, I think?"
OH REALLY!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? THIS IS TRYING?
I give up. How could I have felt that I was being unfair to HIM?????? What is wrong with me? I actually have compassion for this man who has divorced me for no reason at all AND now I have had to listen to how he is not really attracted to me. WONDERFUL. NOT much I can do about this. If he is not attracted to me, well........I guess that is that.
And on the other hand, he's an MLCer, why believe anything that he says....he is not magically going to come out of this....How to get him into counselling or something more productive than him living a million miles away and "trying".
To be honest, it hurt my ego to know that I can't even flirt with this man any longer. OUCH! On the other hand, I asked for it....why did I initiate anything.....sigh.
Life goes on and on and on...I will be strong and strong and stronger!
