well meaning people say, "Get on with it. Forget him. Get somebody else." Those people just don't want to see you hurt. That's our society. We don't want to see hurt and pain, only joy so we encourage others to 'get over it'. It's only when you've walked that path that you realise that it's just not that simple.
Too right Cas. Unless someone has been here, they can have no concept of how it feels, or the importance that people attach to salvaging their M.
It's a well known fact that we live in a disposable society and for many WASs, I believe that they look on M as the empty bottle of water which they are carrying around and can't wait to find a trash can to throw it in to.
The fact that my friends back home do not understand, has led to me being all the more detached from society - the less I interact, the less I have to defend myself at a time when I don't feel that I can.
I have stopped trying to defend my emotions and actions to my friends by email. I know that they are purely behaving as you state above, but I can't take their constant disapproval and how they think it's fine for them to say nasty things about my H. They seem to have lost the thread that, even though he is being vile to me right now, I am not being vile back to him and I don't want them to say nasty things about him.
What they don't see is that, although H is hurting me, they are hurting me too by saying those things. I have therefore chosen my silence to them and answer all emails very generically and try not to mention H at all. In turn, they think that I am being off-ish and am trying to cut them out. The communications from home have become less and less as they don't understand, try though I have to explain it to them.
I remember supporting a friend many years ago in her R breakup. She was in a same sex R which was a huge secret - literally no-one except four of us friends knew. I spent eight years supporting her until she dropped the funk. Now that I am having my troubles, I have very little support from her. I have tried to put that down to the fact that it is probably a reminder of what she went through but for goodness sakes - where are all of my friends now that I need them?? Makes me feel quite bitter, I can tell you. Constantly highlights how alone I am in the world - physically and emotionally. If it weren't for the friends here on this board, I would have given up by now.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
