Ups and Downs

[Energizer Bunny]

I'm feeling resentful and needy today. What a weird combination.

I've been fighting pursuing W today. I've caught myself hovering a few times and just left the house for a while. It's hard to push away from it since she has been recceptive lately. It's clear she's not in the mood for it today though. She's not mean so far today. Not even too distant. Just feels like I've pushed enough for now.

I was out for a good chunk of the morning and came home with quite a headache. W noticed mmy behavior and questioned if I was upset with her. I was a little (feeling a little resentful and replaying some of our less stellar moments in my head this morning) but I just told her about my headache. I was surprised that she would care if I was mad at her. Second time in three days she was concerned about that.

I want to go grab her and take so badly right now!

...and kind of want to tell her to leave and not come back at the same time...