UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Hi Oz
I have tried this weekend to tell myself that this is a down time but I have woken this morning to a huge block on me, pressing down harder than ever. The more that I have examined this, the more I know that I can't put up with it for much longer, but I just don't know what to do to make myself feel any better.

I don't want it to be over but part of me thinks that at least the ties would then be severed for good and I wouldn't have to keep feeling like this, surrounded constantly by all of the memories. I could start to make a new life. I really have started to hate H for what he is doing and yet I cling to the love of my marriage and the life that is past.

The weekends are my worse times and long weekends are my nemesis.

I would just love a hug ((((Oz)))) - the physical touch of another can not be replaced by anything, can it? I long for those nights back when I would drift off in to sleep with H tickling my back - every night that was my prize for being his W and how I loved it.