Yep, actually, in my case, I could see the value in us separating. 14 years together and we were both hurting. My problem was with the how and the why (he put it all on me). I would have been relatively cool with us agreeing to have a cooling off period and do it in a respectful and communicative fashion.
However, by the time one builds up the gumption to leave, he/she has built up so much resentment and hostility that there's little hope for objective, honest and respectful communication.
I asked W for a separation/time away before the A even happened. We were in same place that you describe plus I was really depressed and probably MLC (my IC doesn't think MLC but I'm not sure). Anyway, W would not agree at all. I ended up in A and left She actually agreed to time away when I was leaving but I said screw it at that point (to your point about "resentment and hostility"). I've completely avoided putting blame on her for saying no but boy it has been hard some times. The only thing she has focused on was my leaving. For her she made that her deal breaker. She tells me she has abandonment issues...not sure what that means...sad fo sure
Last edited by RedSoxFan; 09/27/0907:32 PM.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
She actually agreed to time away when I was leaving but I said screw it at that point (to your point about "resentment and hostility"). I've completely avoided putting blame on her for saying no but boy it has been hard some times. The only thing she has focused on was my leaving. For her she made that her deal breaker. She tells me she has abandonment issues...not sure what that means...sad fo sure
