Keep Your Hands Offa My Mojo

[Dia]

FWIW, being willing to just up and out with it means that the resentment has no chance to linger, no chance to fester. At least that's what I'm experiencing so far.

I think a large part of the resentment puzzle is that we resent most that which we allow to continue. We resent being complicit in our own suborning. We resent *ourselves* perhaps as much or more than the actions of our spouse or others. I'll even take back the word 'we' since I'm speaking of myself here.

Long before I was setting boundaries and speaking up when something hurt me with H, I was doing it with my sister and parents. And just the speaking up - even if it brought about no change whatsoever in my sis or parents - cleared the resentment. For the longest time, I thought that speaking up wouldn't change anything, it would, in fact, just create more conflict so why do it?

But when I did it, that's not how it worked.

*I* felt better, stronger, less victimized when I spoke up. Even if it did cause conflict. Even if it didn't bring about any change in others. Because even so, it brought about change in *me*.

It's ironic that it's my mother who always told me that no one can walk on me unless I lay down and let 'em. And it's ironic that it's my mother who's been pissy with me once I stopped laying down for her. That's ok. She can be pissy if she wants to. That's her choice. Mine is simply to stop laying down. It's the proverbial road less travelled, and it's made all the difference in the world for me.