And while we're at it, a flipside of the coin. I'll ask forgiveness in advance for cynicism.
What if the WAS and the LBS are BOTH different? Pardon my intrusion, but it appears that whatever relationship the dynamic duo of Mr./Mrs. SP had, something wasn't healthy. I'm absolutely certain of it in my case.
I wonder if, in the flurry of lust and infatuation that makes up a new squidgy romance, your interests are in changing yourself to make the other person happy, even though your fun-loving wonderful self would've been enough.
In the heat of the moment, and the 6-times-a-day-couplings, it just seems natural to gloss over the yucky things. Meaning, to me, that many if not most romances start with an illogical assumption that the other person is perfect, as is evidenced by the utterings of many WASs on here when they reference an affair partner.
Of course, as time proceeds, you don't want to let go of that "perfection", so you continue it, and maybe lose a little bit of yourself as you go along, just flakes shredding off until you are a bitter shell of who you once were, or perhaps living under cake makeup that you put on..
To me this is exactly where GALing comes in - because it separates you from your wandering spouse, and allows you to return to those roots of who you were. And the success of N.U.T.S (apologies, SP) and other items are thusly incredibly important because this return to your roots must be permanent, else wise you find yourself returned hence from which you came.
It is my contention that the wayward spouse returns in these cases because you finally shed the facade, or put back on the shining armor of days gone by. I can recall simply relaxing - the fun and funniness come on their own, just being ME.
Now, another thought along these lines that I'm sure has crossed many minds: is the WAS an alien, or just a return to their true selves? My WAW went from being a loving, generous, moral, caring, amazing mother and wife, to a selfish, arrogant, affair-consuming, so-so mother. Am I to believe that I lived with a facade for almost 8 years?
Has SP found his smashing original self or become a new man?
