Let me stress again that it took 8 months for my H to soften up. I was contributing in all of my chasing behaviors as well. Once I started to (FINALLY) let go and do my own thing (which did not include another man, though I'm sure his thing included other women), he was almost immediately accepting of the change. I hope that seeing my timeframe above helps someone here. Obviously, it's not always that quick, but the sooner you start taking care of YOU and quit taking care of THEM, the sooner they will be able to see exactly what taking care of them looked like.
Okay, back to me now (see how selfish I've become?!) H and I are going on our first date sometime this week. Hopefully he can go Friday because I'd really like to take him to dinner and a haunted house. It's a little different, right?
Next, it's his turn. He can plan the date. Although I'm afraid he might try to one-up me, because he's really competitive. BTW, even though we're still married and sexually involved, because in a way we're starting over I plan to abstain from sex for the first date.
Again, I'm not sure I want to put this in piecing yet, because we're still nowhere near the clear. We are both trying and so far, it is working, but he is not ready to commit. I am scaring him a bit, but I'm trying to back off.
Me: 26 Ex: 27 Son: 5
Divorced: 3/2010 Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
