Just went back and read page 19 - what a different place!
I recently did a mental list of all the things I lost, and all that X lost.... and I certainly came out ahead. Told him that in that last phone convo, and said thank you. I'll try to get that down the next time I post.
Still struggling with some nasty sentiment toward gf. Getting there, though...at this point, I know it is just going to take time.
Meanwhile, dribs and drabs come to me through acquaintances, some people who grew up with her here in town and have known her a long time...unsolicited things about her. 1. She was always a "skanky b!tch" in school (from too many people for them to all be trying to make me feel better). I can't tell you how many people come up to me and say how they never liked her, even before this all happened, and that they weren't surprised that she had the capacity (although are surprised that my X "downgraded" so dramatically). I get the question asked all the time - he had an affair - with HER?! Like I should know the reason why! 2. She went after her X's inheritence - soon after the affair was exposed, his very wealthy brother offered him to go visit/stay with him/help out. Well, he did that, helped his brother tremendously and they were there for each other, but tragically, the brother died last year. Leaving him EVERYTHING. The man will never have to work another day in his life, lives on the beach on the Cape, and still owns the house here. She gets zero alimony. Needless to say, she got nothing. But what audacity to even try. 3. She brought her 16 year-old daughter to get a tatoo. As big as your hand. On her shoulder blade. When I asked my son if he had heard about it, he said "Mom, they're all dirt bags over there, what did you expect?" Before I could even ask him about it, he said he would NOT be thinking about or getting a tatoo!!
Just some recent things I don't think I posted about before. Sounds like X picked a real winner, hmm? Just wish I could do more to buffer between the kids and her...but am realizing the advice about how I do that best when I concentrate on being the best parent I can be, and letting the contrast speak for itself.
