Long Journey .......... advice please

[Eskimo Nell]

Doh!!

[dolphin_05]

A text from H to enquire about D. No other contact since our convo Tuesday. He's probably quite relaxed in the knowledge that I am still 'on side'. I'm only partially there though. I'm not sure how long I should allow him to initiate or if I should initiate with the goal of him accepting an invitation. Decisions, decisions!!!

I went to a wedding yesterday and it made me feel a little reflective to see such a happy family occasion and I wondered about our own children and their future special events.

[Eskimo Nell]

Hope that some aspects of the wedding were enjoyable for you, Cas. It must be difficult to predict how things will be in the future but you have to reframe all of that and just wait ... lots can change by then.

I think that maybe waiting for your H to initiate another contact would be the way to go and then, you could try initiate one. Let him do the lions share.

[girlfromoz]

Hi Cas

I think it depends how long you think it will take your H to initiate contact again and how quickly you would like to have contact with him.

If he is going to take a long time and you would prefer contact sooner then you would be best to initiate otherwise wait for H. I hate these kinds of decisions, I am not a good decision maker at the best of times.

[dolphin_05]

Thanks Oz and Nell. The wedding was beautiful and the bride was just stunning. She is one of those people whose smile lights up a room.

I don't think H will initiate contact actually....same old, same old. He has me on side, no need to work at it. It's still all about him.

[girlfromoz]

Well then Cas if you know he won't initiate do you feel that you want to?

[dolphin_05]

I am thinking that i will initiate with something simple and then ensure I take a pressure free stance. I know I have a different attitude now and I feel sure I can do this in a more detached mode.

However, just initiating might be pressuring. I guess I could ask him if he minds that i initiate.

In previous times H would get annoyed with me because I was a people pleaser and never made a decision, always waiting on others so perhaps being decisive is a good thing.

[girlfromoz]

I think your last paragraph has given you your answer. If it is a 180 for you to make a decision and take action then I think you are right it is a good thing.

[dolphin_05]

I just sent him a text to say I was going for a beach walk this afternoon and if he was interested he might like to come along. He replied that he would let me know because he had to work today and wasn't sure when he would finish. I am going to go out soon so that I am not wondering if I will hear from him.

[Eskimo Nell]

Good move Cas. At least your H is considering it.

I would just love things to turn out right for you. I think that you so deserve it.

Look after yourself ((Cas))