It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

Every day is a new challenge. I don't want this any more. I want to give up. I don't know if this is worth it.

D(13) doesn't answer or return calls or texts any more. when I can get a hold of her she claims she didn't get the call, text, instant message or email. She could just be being a forgetful kid. But I'm her dad who can't be with her right now and I KNOW she doesn't do this with her friends. The idea of losing the little contact I have with her is unbelievably painful.

It's not really d's behavior, but the fact that my W has taken all that is precious from me. W is at a concert right now. Don't know if the kids are alone or not. I'm sure I'll get a call or text from W about how much fun she had and I get to smile and laugh and pretend I'm happy she got to have fun (which on some level is true, but I would be a lot happier for her if I was her partner not some schmuck she's "over").

If I'm not allowed to be with the people I love the most, then what's left?

I'm fast losing my resolve here.