Thinker, all in all, you usually do so well. And maybe this isn't a mistake, but as R talks go, this one has its flaws. There is blaming, " You systematically shut down, etc.", there is use of absolutes, "It has never been good...". Talking to each other this way is a marriage killer. No good comes from it.
Good aspects of the conversation are: she is arguing for the marriage (big change), you are both willing to go to Retrouvaille with open minds and willing hearts. No one asks more than that of you.
Ok, the line in the sand has been drawn. You both need to do better. You both need to feel better about the marriage. I have confidence that you will!
