Keep Your Hands Offa My Mojo

[hoosiermama]

Ah yes, Perception Is Reality.

So how do we know that our chosen Perception is erroneous? How do we cut through the resentment that years of hurt and Failure to Get Needs Met (or even Failure to Recognize that Spouse Has Needs Aside from Meeting Mine)? Because nothing causes us to see things through Ugly Glasses more than resentment.

Clearly, as previously discussed, Another Person reflecting back a more pleasant and "okay" image recalibrates our own mojo, how we see ourselves. And that can be misleading, or it can be liberating--especially when the New Relationship is unencumbered by baggage and painful patterns. But either way it tends to be life-changing, especially when folk are wearing a self-chosen Ugly Glasses.

I would respectfully submit that there is a New SP and an Old SP. The Old one was just waking up, just becoming the New SP, who was shaken out of complacency, paralysis, acceptance-of-crummy-status-quo. Whose own perception changed as a result of waking up.

But that's neither here nor there, really. What enquiring minds want to know is--how does one bust out of resentment? I mean, before it becomes so set like the concrete it is, that busting out requires busting the marriage? 'Cuz that's where we purchase the Ugly Glasses that become such a part of us that we forget we're wearing them. And how does one avoid going there to begin with? How does one choose to rewrite the story in a positive way when one is left raw and bleeding by the spousal unit?