Hello all, I haven't posted on here in quite awhile, and a lot has surfaced in that time. Over the last couple of months it has become quite clear that what has been happening in my relationship with my wife has been verbal abuse.
My wife brought this to my attention a couple of months ago and I did admit to it after going on Dr. Irene's verbal abuse website and reading for a couple of hours.
My interpretation of verbal abuse was for many years incorrect. I used to believe that verbally abusive people were the ones who would yell at the top of their lungs, and scream obscenities.
After doing plenty of research and reading books like The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, and Verbally Abusive Men by the same author, I began to understand that there are many ways of using manipulation and control over the ones we say we love to gain Power Over and be the ones in control.
This reading and research has been an incredibly hard time for our family, the hardest stuff we've ever gone through. It has made me stop and reexamine my relationship with my wife and truly look back over the course of our time together and ask myself some very difficult questions.
Questions like "why was I always so irritated with my wife and children?"" Why did I do things on a constant basis to sabotage the relationship?" Where did this anger really come from?
After tremendous soul searching, visiting five different therapists and life coaches,and having my wife leave me with our three children for 2 weeks without ever knowing where they even went, I have finally begun to see the path that my life is going to need to take to get back on track.
My comfort was ripped out from under me when my wife left forcing me to dig very deep into a dark spot that had been un touched for 40 yrs. With the help of websites like MEVAC, and DR. Irene's Verbal Abuse Site, I can now see very clearly what my problems are and once and for all work through them all for the health of myself and my family.
My thoughts on all of this have been "Gee, I wonder just how many guys there are on the Divorce Busters website that have these same issues?"
I will stress, this is not easy to comprehend or admit to, but once you do it sets you free. So to all the men on this website who have been having a difficult time making sense of what it is there wife is doing, what she's thinking, and just why we can't seem to get along or communicate anymore, I ask you, do a little homework, go to the websites that I have mentioned and spend a couple of hours looking into yourself, you just may find a few answers.
