In your first post, you said that your W told you "three years ago" that she was unhappy b/c you weren't listening to her. You never said if you changed any of that. If you'll read Michele's article on the symptoms of a WAW, you'll see that they begin their journey the same way.....they are unhappy b/c they try to tell their H and he won't listen......I mean REALLY LISTEN to her and he won't (are you paying attention here) "he" won't put any effort into the MR or making changes. NOW...after she has her feelings shut down....you are having a pity party b/c she won't respond to you and doesn't want physical touching. You are complaining b/c she won't put effort into the M. Where were you when SHE wanted YOU to put effort into the R? She pushed down her feelings all those years you wouldn't listen and talk her seriously, now it has caught up.
As a former WAW, I can tell you that the more you mope around and act like a love sick pup, the more you are disgusting her. Do not tell her you love her b/c she knows you are trying to get her to say it back.......AND YOU ARE!! I know you are and so does she. Do not ask her if you still stand a chance and other high school stuff like that. It is a huge turn-off to a WAW.
I have been straight with you and I'm going to now, but you aren't going to like it. I think she is involved with OM. She may not be in a PA yet, but I bet she's having an EA. Although, she may have turned it to a PA about 6 weeks ago if that is when she completely stopped with all physical contact. I think you need to find out for sure if she's in an A.....and you won't find out by asking her. A WAW is not going to just come out and tell you she's in an A when you simply "ask" her. Maybe she's never lied before....but she will now.
You see, it's different with a WAW when she first gets into an A b/c she isn't sure how things will go with her and the OM, so she's kind of fense walking trying to decide what to do....or see what OM does.
I would check her cell phone to see her TM and who she's been calling. Check her emails. You may have to get some type of keyboard softwear to see what's going on. OTOH, if you don't want to know for sure, then that's your decision. But, either way, you've got to get a grip and know that you may be in this for quite a while.....if she doesn't decide to walk out. But if you pursue her, she will walk. Stop doing what you know is wrong. I get so upset with LBH's who say they did such & such and then say (I know...it was wrong)!!! Why do they do it if they know it was wrong to start with? Don't say you are weak. If you are, then STOP BEING WEAK!! WAW's hate men who are weak. You will either get strong and show some toughness--or you will lose her. Plain and simple. Your choice.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
