Ups and Downs

[Dia]

Wow, that sounds immensely frustrating.

Did you validate at all? And no, I don't think you have to validate something that is utter, fabricated crap past saying something like, "I'm sorry you're hurting." Or even (very calmly), "I hear you - you felt controlled."

See how the last one is not agreement, just acknowledgment of how she felt regardless of the facts either way?

If you can do that, it often cools the situation down b/c the person venting doens't feel like they have to vent *harder* in order to be heard.

Now, it's going to suck for you because YOU won't get heard and that doesn't feel so good. The goal, of course, is to validate enough to get her to a place where she *can* hear you. I can't tell you how long it will take or when it might happen, but IMHO, it's still worth trying.