RSF- Often the WAS feels that the LBS left first (emotionally etc)...as in my case, my H says I "killed our marriage."
One of the best things you can do is stop seeing yourself as LBS. You just are where you are.
Quote:
My question to all of you is how do we know that it's not just OM, jealousy or ego driving us? How do we know that there really was a chance for the marriage? or is a chance if we chose to reconcile? Can we know? If we can't know, what's the process for stepping through to find out?
To me this is like trying to figure out infinity. You married your W, made children together. In all likelihood IMO, if you both were on the same page and wanted to make the marriage work, you could. You would both have to hold the marriage as a sacred entity and be committed. But, like everything in life, you find out through experience. Perception is everything but means nothing. If your W never comes back to you, you'll likely evolve your thinking to "it was just my ego anyway, we couldn't be together, we were wrong for each other," if she does come back and it works, "thank God, were meant to be together," if she comes back and you end up D anyway, "Heck, why was trying so hard, should have just let her go a long time ago."
My point, and this tortures me, believe me. There is no ultimate truth. It is just life. We live and learn and rationalize and try to come up with neat ways to draw definitive conclusions. But, ultimately, we've got to be just fabulous with or without the person we basically made a covenant with that we would share our lives with. Tough stuff. Welcome to the big league of living. Maybe we the oh so spiritually evolved souls that are up for the challenge...I'll run with that one for a while.
