Gotta Keep Trying 2

[givingitmyall]

Interesting little thing I noticed from last night. So, about a month ago, we got a cat. Never had one of those before - always have been a dog person.

Anyway, W ordered an ID tag for teh cat. On it, it has cat's name, then a line that says "Mr. & Mrs. GIMA."

Hmmmmm. Not earth shattering, but there are a number of other ways W could have had the tag inscribed, like with just our last name. May not mean anything, but I noticed it.

Taking son to a college football game today with my brother and his two boys. W has IM'd this morning with what she, D and W's GF are up to on their weekend getaway.

I am glad W is doing this b/c she never has. Early on in our M, I encourgaed her to take these types of trips b/c I do think it is important for each of us to have time away with friends. I always took an annual golf trip with friends, and that was one of the things she complained about upon droppping the bomb.

[mishka422]

Which game are you going to?

[givingitmyall]

Unfortunately, not the right one. Would rather be b/w the hedges, but we don't have tix for that one. We are headed downtown to the humble bumbles game. My brother went there.

[mishka422]

Yeesh....the danged Bees! BZZZZZZZ....SPLAT!

Arizona State wouldn't have been the interesting one to see anyway. Next week will be BETTER! LSU...that's always a bit of a grudge match.

Have fun anyway. College football is great no matter who is playing. It's the atmosphere that makes it fun.

GO DAWGS!

[karen43]

Anyway, W ordered an ID tag for teh cat. On it, it has cat's name, then a line that says "Mr. & Mrs. GIMA."

I think it does mean something very good. I've been reading your thread lately, and don't contribute much b/c you are doing so great, and your sitch sounds very good. I'm so happy for you!!! You have helped out a lot of people here too so really deserve the best!!!

[givingitmyall]

Anyway, W ordered an ID tag for teh cat. On it, it has cat's name, then a line that says "Mr. & Mrs. GIMA."

I think it does mean something very good. I've been reading your thread lately, and don't contribute much b/c you are doing so great, and your sitch sounds very good. I'm so happy for you!!! You have helped out a lot of people here too so really deserve the best!!!

Thanks karen. Hope you're right.

I would like for her to have to make the first step back. But, maybe the roles have shifted, maybe she thinks she might loose me and doesn't want to press me. Who knows?

I DO know this limboland thing is starting to get very old and fatiguing.

[brownidmom]

[quote=givingitmyall]
Anyway, W ordered an ID tag for teh cat. On it, it has cat's name, then a line that says "Mr. & Mrs. GIMA."

GIMA, this is good, REALLY GOOD! No way would a W do that without an intent, on purpose. Sounds like she might be coming around. Whatever you're doing is working. She may not be to the point where she wants back in, but she definitely doesn't want out.

You have been doing great according to your posts. You are much further along in this DB/DR lifestyle than I am but I think that starting to feel like a WAS at some point in this process would be normal for all of us. Already happening to me from time-to-time as well.

Keep it up!

BIM

[givingitmyall]

Thanks BIM.

Will just have to see where this goes.

Trying not to mindread, but I am curious why if she seems to be not going the D route, why she doesn't bring up where we are or are headed. I'm not the one who wanted to leave. Seems the one who wanted the change would be the one to bring up a shift in their decision. But, of course, that's too much sommon sense and logic to make sense!

Not whining, just curious.

[Dia]

That's a hard hole to dig oneself out of, GIMA.

To wit:

"Hey there, Mr. GIMA. So about all of that 'I'm done' stuff I was spouting awhile back? I was completely wrong, I feel like an utter idiot and now I think you're the best thing since self-rising flour. So... yeah... things are just fine now. Um, want some cake?"

1) She may be trying to tell you by her actions that everything is ok.

2) She may be struggling with loss of face/looking like an idiot when/if she thinks about having an 'all better now' R talk.

3) She may be *afraid* that just when she opens up to the possibility that everything is ok (fear/vulnerability), BOOM - life sucks again.

Lots of possibilities here. Did you re-read the sections of the books yet? With Mrs. GIMA away, it might be the perfect time.

Edit: Been thinkin' about this for awhile now... Are you possibly struggling with some fear here? That it's safer (for you) to wait for her to make a move b/c then you don't get rejected? Is fear keeping you from moving closer yourself?

[Butterfly1]

Believe none of what they say and only 50% of what they do.

I'd believe the 50% that shows coming closer to you~