Jak and Matilda, I'm beginning to imagine myself being capable of being on "Dancing with the Stars." I'm better than at least half of the celebrities on the show. I'm also beginning to imagine myself being in a ballroom competition.
I went to a latin venue last night with my W. I'm enjoying the diversity of ballroom and latin dancing, and spending an evening practicing salsa and cha cha. My presence was needed, and I was busy for the two hours I was there. I joined her afterwards for a bite to eat.
She posted on Facebook that she was feeling peaceful listening to the rain, and that she was pondering comments a client of hers made about life and peace of mind. She seems to be trying to create happiness for herself.
I brought home an article from work about the connection between insomnis and psychiatric problems (anxiety, depression, bipolar, ADD). It gave an overview of the state of the art medications for insomnia, lifestyle tips such as eliminating or reducing caffeine and nicotine, and ruling-out sleep apnea. She continues to struggle with establishing a regular sleep schedule.
I think I'm getting better at detachment and acceptance. I'm taking responsibility for my own happiness. I'm making better choices about how to spend my time. I've learned to not spend time with my W out of obligation, but because it works, and that sometimes it's best to pursue one's own activites. I've also learned to accept that she has psychiatric problems (depression, anxiety, mood swings). This is not her fault. Her poor choices at coping are poor judgment (nicotine, alcohol). She drinks alcohol like it's water.
She got upset with me the other day, because she went to turn on the stereo to play some music and it wasn't plugged in. I unplug it whenever my dog is going to be left alone in the house. I don't want to worry about him chewing the electrical cord, and coming home to find him dead. She said that it's unfair that I do that to her. I told her that she was overreacting, and went to plug it in for her. The difference is that I in the past I would have plugged it in for her and tolerated her remarks without saying anything. This time, I provided a brief description of her behavior. She said that she would consider my comment.
I'm thinking about visiting a neighborhood church that is close enough to walk to. It's a denomination that seems like it would be a good fit for me. I downloaded several of the minister's sermons, and they match the level of open mindedness that I need in a church to explore ideas and concepts. I was a member of a church for about twelve years during my thirties to mid-40's. I left to join a meditation group and study more on my own. I'm feeling the need for community again, and want to find a neighborhood church this time, instead of driving 25 minutes like I used to. I took a quiz and the denomination at the neighborhood church came in third, the church in the city I belonged to came in second, and the meditation group was first. I think I'm on the right track.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
