S&A, thanks for the post there. I've had a look at those other 2 threads and they make a lot of sense. The 2nd one especially, I can identify with a lot of what that guy is feeling.
Just pick up on a couple of things. While having kids are something that we would both like in the not too distant future I have said before that it's not an option till we get this issue sorted. I'm not going to bring kids into a relationship that has this sort of issue in it. While I don't think there will ever be a perfect marriage and therefore never a perfect situation for having kids I don't think where we are at at the moment is anywhere near where it should be for that sort of thing.
Of course I've thought about leaving and still do at times. BUT, I love my wife so much and wouldn't want to be with anyone else. We have a great life together and this is really the only issue I have with our marriage and our life. So I'm fully committed to working to sort this issue out.
Just want to give you a little info on what happened yesterday. Was in bed in the morning and chatting and a little bit of touching etc. I asked out ML and she was sort of like "errrmmm.. ok..... hhhhmmmmmm...." she didn't really want to but would because she knew it sort of had to be done... At that moment the phone went and I had to go. She said we would have a nice night and ML later.
So later we went out for dinner, did a bit of shopping and she helped me pick some clothes. Came back and watched a bit of telly and then we went to bed. So at this point I'm on a promise and so I kiss and cuddle a little. She knows that it has to happen but isn't really into it that much although she's trying. It's a bit like trying to get a dead weight involved. I'm doing all the work and there is very little coming from her apart from a few "I'm getting squashed" groans... not the sort of groans I would like to hear from her at this point! Anyway, things move on and we ML but she's just enduring it and so although it is nice in a way I can't help feeling she's just doing it because she feels obliged and for sure she took no pleasure in it.
So that was that. Better than nothing but not great. It's good that she's willing to think about it but we've still not had any sort of breakthrough I don't think.
We're going away tomorrow night for a night so it'll be interesting to see if anything happens there. Often when we're away that is worse because she knows that that is a time when more ML might happen so she pulls away and struggles even more.
