Need to go dark again - or do I need to tell H to get his a$$ down here next weekend so that we can do some major SERIOUS talking, regarding the house and all the responsibilities that go with it? I don't see why I am sailing this ship alone whilst he is off GAL'ing and I am left holding everything else together - including my broken heart.
It seems to me that when he is here alone, he cake eats by wanting to tell me stuff, spend an evening here on false pretences and upset me before he leaves. Then, whenever he has opportunity to go interstate, he's off in a flash, ignores me for as long as possible and today, was really - and I mean really - rude to me on the phone, using profanities which he probably thinks make him look big and masterful in front of ow. Pathetic, childlike behaviour.
Sorry to rant but I need to .... I managed to shed 3 tears today before the well dried. What's the matter with me - am I emotionally barren or am I just over-protecting myself? Why can't I cry when I so want to ... it's been months now and nothing .... ?????
It's a gorgeous sunny lunch time here but I'm taking a bottle of wine, my precious babies and I am going to bed. I've had enough of today and knowing that H won't be back until Tuesday is eating in to me. He was making off last night like he was so ill and spending some time on his own to recover .... I wish we could use some really choice language here as I could really spit some out right now.
I think that his texts that I was getting so excited about, were a way to kill some time at the airport - no wonder then he didn't reply to my last one.
Oh, I don't know what to do now but my instinct is to go back to nc for a week or three.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
