UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Thanks Dudess - and it just got a whole lot worse.

Deciding that I needed to shake my funk, I got dressed and went out to mow the lawns. In the process, I note that the water supply outside our property has been damaged and there's water flooding out everywhere - the faucet is broken off and nothing that I can do. I phone H.

H hangs up the phone. I phone again. Line goes dead. I phone once more - goes to voice mail and I tell him to ring me urgently. I send a text - all the wrong things I know but I'm in panic mode here. H phones.

I explain the problem, he tells me he is interstate - after all the woe is me and how he was going to relax over the weekend THE LIAR is with ow and sounded like he was out and about ....

FURIOUS and shaking, I tell him that he had better get home and sort out his responsibilities before living his adulterous lifestyle. He tells me (in a manner of words) "then you should be looking after [censored] stuff". I hung up.

Now waiting on the emergency water guy to call whilst sat here FUMING and with no-one to call on for any kind of sympathy or support.

Carried on with the lawns - lawn mower blew up.

I just feel like telling H to get down here next weekend so that we can get this all over and done with. I hate that he's rubbing my nose in it all the time and I am so over looking after OUR home and HIS mess.

How I wish that I could cry. Even this fury won't allow me to shed the tears and I am like a dam inside - the walls are going to give way soon, I just know it. H has absolutely no concept of how I'm feeling and what he has done. He's never been rejected in his life and wouldn't know how it felt ..... meanwhile, I'm hurting like hell and have no-one to turn to.

I just feel like ending this life. I've had enough.