K, you are the "winner" in this situation. Your H chose you over the OW, so that means he had rather be with you than her. If you don't want to know the detail....then don't ask. What I was saying is that it is better to ask now than later. He is willing to discuss it now...but probably won't be at a later date.
From what I have read, the LBS often imagines the A to be a lot of passionate that it really was, so don't be your worst enemy and don't give the OW that much credit!
It is pretty amazing how open your H is being about his feelings right now. It is normal for him to go through a grieving period and I hope you will be patient to a point with him. It isn't so much the OP as it was the chemicals rushing his brain that he was hooked on. It is the excitment that he'll miss more than her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
