It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Well, S18 moved back home last weekend.... so far so good. He says he was not involved in anything illegal with his "friends" (other than doing a few substances he shouldn't be doing, which he says he is not doing now).

He says that he still wants to drink now and again (which I am of course adamantly against as he is under-age, and alcoholism has been an issue in my family). But, I am trying to choose my battles and be there for him, and hopefully he will come to these important conclusions on his own..... since he won't listen to me.

This weekend, he and a friend went up to dream property with H for a "guys weekend". I am very glad that he is doing that. He has not spent any quality time with STBXH in some time, and I think they both desperately need that.

STBXH hired my brother and step-dad to work for him this week. During our communications, STBXH has been much more talkative....mostly about work stuff and things he is planning at the dream property and stuff...... I think he is loosening up because he finally maybe believes that I have really let go.

It's funny, but not so long ago, I would have seen his recent behavior as reason for hope for reconcilation...... now, if anything, the idea that that might be the case actually worries me..... because I don't know if I would have the strength to say no, and I don't think I could ever be happy with STBXH......

On a sad note, it looks like we are loosing our C. He is moving to Idaho. That really sucks because I would have really liked for him to be there for S18 in the next few months..... and I am not really ready to stop C, although I know I will be OK. The 18 months of history we (H, S18 & me) have with this C is not something that can be duplicated elsewhere.

But, S18 and I did both have a session this week and will have a final session next week. I had thought about asking STBXH if he would have a session with me before C leaves.... but that is just old residual feelings that are getting less all the time now, and there is really nothing to be gained in doing that.

One of my dance friends is really into volunteer work for animals and has invited me to join, so I am going to start doing that. I have always been an animal lover......ok that doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean....

Have a dance to go to tomorrow night.....

Getting more and more of life........