FIL, SIL and baby are arriving today and staying thru Friday. This is going to turn several things all caddy-wumpus.
1) H may not be comfortable sleeping in the same bed with me in front of FIL and SIL. Acid test for H.
2) Got no clue how we're going to accommodate everyone since we have no functional guest room at present.
3) Expect major pullback from H as he's not going to want his cake-eating to be seen by his family.
4) No clue how I'm going to be able to work either since I work out of a home office.
A warning, Gentle Reader - I'm about to wander into some intimate territory. Not sure what the board tolerance on this is like, so I'll be direct, but reasonably delicate. If that's TMI for you, best to move along and these are not the droids you're looking for.
H and I continue to take tiny baby steps forward in bed. H is holding the line at not kissing me on the mouth and not having intercourse, but we are petting a bit more each night. I am holding the line at keeping control of my own climaxes. I'm just not comfortable giving that to him under current state. (I would get too vulnerable, plus I'm not sure I like the comfort level HE might have if he thinks that reasonably satisfying me sexually is a fair compromise for not breaking it off with OW.) Last night, however, I let him watch after I backed him off and took matters into my own hands. I was a tad worried he'd see that as rejection (i.e. him doing it 'wrong'), but he enjoyed the show regardless.
Why am I telling you this, you wonder? Well, other people's threads have been immensely helpful to me in getting through various dynamics, especially those involving the ol' relationship push-pull dance. My intent here is to help others by showing them what to expect when things get to this area. But if folks object to the level of detail, let me know and I'll draw the curtain over it.
So afterwards, I got very cuddly-clingy, which he *loved* and encouraged. There were some lovely, soft words of welcome and come hither. I had to bite my tongue to keep the ILYs from flowing. He also responded very well to the line of nips and kisses on his throat and earlobe - so well that he stopped me.
I am not finding this at all frustrating on a physical level. I don't mind the start-stop stuff physically, and yes, we are making progress. Emotionally, though, I'm tired of the walls and limitations. It's the love and commitment I want. The sexual aspect is just icing on the proverbial cake.
Patience.
Patience.
Patience.
A couple of people have asked me about this, so I'm re-posting.
<blush>
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
