Tricked into seperation

[lonelywolf]

Just finished the "materials" for the divorce class.

I'm almost regretting this decision. I need it so I can work out access to the children, but the course is so focused on "get over it, your spouse has moved on" and defines "abuse" so broadly that merely getting angry is considered abuse, so it will justify my wife's decision in her mind.

I admit to being angry too much, but it was never abusive, physically or emotional - and she got angry just as much and at the same levels I did. In the DR book, it talks about how its pretty much impossible to avoid anger in any marriage. Getting angry will happen. In the anger management course I took, it discussed that anger is normal, and declaring any and all anger bad is counter productive. It's how you deal with and react to that anger that's the key. I admit I needed better tools to deal with my anger, but this DVD course I just took basically said any time you get angry with the spouse is abuse. Since my wife has convinced herself she never has been angry with me, and I was a raging beast running around all the time yelling at the top of my lungs, this course may just convince her she's right after all.

But, as I said, since it's a no-fault divorce state, the materials apparently won't tell parents its best to stay together.

I don't know. It may help, or not. I don't know anymore. I sent off a brief request for pictures of the kids from her. No response.