Ok I am trying to walk forward and leave The Land of Insanity Behind me.
You know, insanity, doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different outcome?
The roles have written themselves by now. 1)After distancing himself, Dan will realize how much he misses Bobbi and their life together. He will share his depression and inner turmoil with Bobbi, vaguely/indirectly indicating his desire to reconcile.
2)BBJ will run in for the rescue, providing Dan with an A-Z checklist for how to 'make things right'.
3)Dan will instantly become paralyzed again with indecision.
4) Bobbi will push for action, time is a-wastin'!
5)Dan will freak out at the 'pressure' and back away again, only to emerge once the dust has settled (and BBJ has distanced herself again). Back to step 1.
Since the colossal meltdown that was Wednesday morning, I haven't contacted Dan for anything. I did give him the petition on Wednesday night, he is to sign the notice in front of a notary and give it back to me.
Sydney asked to call her Daddy last night and when she called she asked if he could come and watch her dance before bed. For the three WHOLE days we were 'piecing', he was here every night watching her put on a dance show before bedtime.
He didn't come, but that was ok. She danced for me anyway.
I found a counselor I want to get in with. Her practice has a handful of counselors actually. They are Christian counselors with a solution-oriented approach. She is familiar with the "Boundaries" books and even leads seminars on establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.
I still have the desire to drive away from this town and disappear for a day or two. Need to have some mental space. I want to make sure that anything I do is not coming from a place of manipulating Dan to come back, or from a place of trying to punish him for his decision not to try again.
