"So yesterday I had on a cute skirt and tall black boots. I was complimented by at least 3 guys. When I got home, my H was with the girls... didn't even notice me. So tiring..."
But in the scheme of things.. why does this matter? Maybe he did notice and just consciously made an effort not to say or act upon it. In the end you got 3 compliments. Sometimes the approval we seek.. makes us look "needy" to the people we hold close. From a reader's (perspective) you even admitted that it was tiring and was a let down to you. What if that is what he "see's" all the time? Those guys on the street just saw a smiling "hot chick". They did not see the "hot chick" that was dealing with a WAH. Changing the perception of the WAS is an outcome to DB'ing.. not the "goal". I am playing the devils advocate here somewhat.
"? #1 - What do I say about snooping (my best attempt is to tell him that I am completing last year's taxes finally and needed some info)."
If you want an honest answer.. you tell him the truth as to why you were looking. If you feel foolish telling him why then that may discourage you from doing it in the future.
"? #2 - Do I offer him $$$ to cover the negative (when my making more money and "controlling" the finances in our relationship was an issue)"
Not unless he asks for it. Just by looking you have still given him that "controlling" reinforcement. Or, if you really wanna be crafty go put some money in just because you want to. Do it once his balance is back positive. Do it because you want to.. not because it makes you look good.
You can test peoples issues with you to see if they are truly the REAL issue. If you were "controlling" the most obvious thing to do is become "un-controlling" and see what reaction it gets. 9 times out of 10 when you do that you will get the "that is fake/not real" response from them. So now you have defined what was controlling and what was fake.. or the two extremes. Now find the middle ground. What you may find is that the middle ground was where you should have been all the time.
I have not read thru your stitch.. but I will see if I can catch up.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
