This is a very rough draft. I need to change it anyway. the way he's acting today is the reason I don't ever tell him anything. Something "funny" he said the other day...he was not mentioning something to his parents,not lying, but not mentioning it...and he was laughing and told the kids, hey the First Rule with Grandma and Grandpa is...Never Tell Them Anything.
So...it's not like he doesn't know this is also true about himself sometimes.
(If some of this sounds repetitive it's because he has ADD and I swear you have to repeat something critical a lot of times)
Hey hon
Hope your day is going well.
Have a few things to tell you...as you know our financial situation has been a little tight because of the past year. Very tight actually. Due to everything that's happened with the illness, etc. Do you remember what Tax Person told us at the tax filing? We made 25% less money last year. That's like X amount. We made X less last year!! And we had all those medical bills. Thousands of dollars. And we were still paying for our own health insurance until last Oct.
It was pretty scary when you were so sick..and you wouldn't take care of yourself when you were worried about money. I didn't tell you about the medical bills because I wanted to protect you. Remember when you told me you were so glad I didn't let you know that stuff? You said Thank you for not telling me!! You had so much on your shoulders trying to cope with cancer treatment. It was hard to see you like that, because you've always been so strong. Really it was almost superhuman the way you powered through all that pain and suffering. You had so much to deal with I couldn't add any more.
Anyway...we made X less dollars last year. With more expenses. It had to come from somewhere. I had to take money from savings. I know you already know this or you wouldn't have asked so many times. I had to take money from savings to pay bills. And I used our credit card sometimes too, just for regular stuff. Of course we were supposed to get that bonus in December...and then we didn't. Boy was that a blow. I thought that was going to kind of fix things, and we didn't get it.
So, we really have only X amount in our savings account. And we have X amount on our credit card.
There. Now you know. I didn't tell you when you were sick to protect you. After that...I was looking for a job...and, well, as you know, after you got off painkillers you started drinking very heavily, and I didn't ever want to tell you then either. And then it really looked like we were getting divorced. You asked me if one of the reasons I wanted a divorce was to avoid all this stuff, and yes, that is one of the reasons. Because we can't handle these things appropriately.
I apologize for lying.
Truthfully I dread ever talking to you or seeing you again after this email. But I am trying to get over that, because these circumstances COULD NOT BE HELPED. This is a bump in the road of a long life. There is a way to fix things.
I've already to talked to SoandSo, and we can refinance the house to a LOWER house payment, pay off all our bills, and repad the savings account to where it was so we have available cash. It still only makes our loan X amount, so it doesn't even prevent us from moving in the future. It's a reasonable solution. She said she and Youhoo have had to do the same thing a couple of times.
Okay, so I've told you. I know you're probably angry. I am tired of having this on my shoulders and dealing with all of it all by myself. When we didn't get that bonus was when my depression got so much worse that I really thought of killing myself. That's how much stress this has caused me. I would rather kill myself than tell you about financial problems. I'm stronger than that now.
Okay, well, sorry to dump all this on you. I'll talk to you soon.
This is really just like a...vent. I need to go back and edit it. So any thoughts?
