yes, reading body language is a great indicator of how someone is feeling towards you.
@Coach, I agree. And, I'm a trial lawyer, so I read peoples' body language, mannerisms, expressions, tone of voice, etc. for a living.
And, All I see in my W is someone who is just happy to be like we are right now. I have to admit I cannot be objective here, so my feelings are probably clouding my assesment somewhat.
I have noticed, starting about 6-8 weeks ago, her being more conversant and showing outward interest in what I am doing (asking questions about a football game and actually watching the game is one example).
@Dia, Not sure what I am supposed to try out for her. The issues you listed for her showing signs (strainghtening my collar) just are NOT present in my sitch. There has been very little touching.
@Dia, Not sure what I am supposed to try out for her. The issues you listed for her showing signs (strainghtening my collar) just are NOT present in my sitch. There has been very little touching.
Tell her her hair looks nice. Reach out and finger a tress or tuck it behind her ear. Lean in and smell, then tell her how good it smells.
Compliment her blouse. Touch the fabric.
Admire her outfit - slowly. Ask her to turn around for you. Let her see the desire/admiration in your gaze. (Fake it if you have to.)
Take her to dinner. Open doors, pull out her chair, help her with her coat, escort her with your hand on the small of her back.
You've asked me this before - What worked when you were courting? How did you make the leap to open affection, physical or otherwise?
Last edited by Dia; 09/25/0904:59 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
So, although she does not seem to want to touch me, her tone of voice and interest in me have not been this positive sicne early on in our M.
This is similar to my sitch = I'm one of those Sex-Starved Wives where the man actually never initiates. So, of course now my H doesn't reach out to touch me - he never did to begin with.
However, I also notice tone of voice and interest in me. I say if those are the particular indicators our spouses are giving, then let's notice them. It's positive movement toward us.
Do you touch her when she walks by? Give her a hug now and then? Anything like that?
I remember a while back you mentioned that she seemed to appreciate your flirting with her, but I haven't seen any of that in a while. Have you backed off of that?
Just my 2 cents - From the outside looking in, there may be a lot of little things that you could to just to see some kind of movement.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
This is similar to my sitch = I'm one of those Sex-Starved Wives where the man actually never initiates. So, of course now my H doesn't reach out to touch me - he never did to begin with.
However, I also notice tone of voice and interest in me. I say if those are the particular indicators our spouses are giving, then let's notice them. It's positive movement toward us.
So good for you, GIMA!
I really wish my W was someone who initiated. I thought if I just stopped she would eventually start. I don't know if it works like that though. As mentioned before, some people just may not have it in them.
Sounds like GIMA's W had it at one time, but maybe it's not there right now.
Wasn't it Coach who said that sometimes we have to "lead." (forgive me if I'm quoting incorrectly)
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
@Coach, I agree. And, I'm a trial lawyer, so I read peoples' body language, mannerisms, expressions, tone of voice, etc. for a living.
So you know how to mirror them then get them to follow you?
Make it a goal for her to do something. The hard part about that is you don't control her so your actions are how you measure yourself. Every year we want to win a State Championship, that's the goal. My job as the head coach is to plan and prepare the team. I only have control over how we practice and gameplan. Injuries, weather, officials, the opponents are all out of my control.
If you make it a goal it's amazing what happens, look at Dia.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
W is out of town with D. S and I, and his spend the night company, are hanging out getting ready to watch college football. Don't know if I will make it through the entire game.
W has sent several IM's and sent several pictures of D from their trip. All positive.
So, when W gets back from her trip, I will start using some of Dia's techniques, from a male perspective, of course. Will just have to see how that goes.
