My opinion? Not til you're ready to walk out the door.
Judging by his track record he might not say much at first but then he'll wait to the last minute to try a psychological ambush on you again.
I can only tell you that from all my friends that I've watched go through this part...from an abusive person...they get uglier when it's time to go. Not because they care, but because it is somehow a poor reflection of their perfection. How dare you leave?
I want to say that you are handling yourself really well and are a really strong and insightful person. Your assessment of what was said at MC is spot on.
I think you just need to get past "the shoulds"
We talk a lot about that in al anon (codependency)...there is no "should" in what is traumatic. You were crushed that night because you were really doing that against your will, your wishes, your feelings, your desires. The others weren't.
It's difficult after years of someone telling you what you "Should" feel which when you really think about it, is a little nuts of them, isn't it? How can another tell you how you SHOULD feel? Were you raised with that?
My H is like that because his parents will still tell you, if you state your feelings, well, you shouldn't feel that way then.
