Julia, I am trying to keep myself grounded at this point. The last thing I want is to get my hopes up only to be dashed again the next time something goes wrong. The way I see it, the things my W does still affects me greatly and I know I still love her with all my heart. However, I'd gotten to the stage of trying self-preservation in an attempt to stop things affecting me so much. I'd convinced myself that there was never going to be any hope for us and I had to find someone else to move on. The fact is that I found this difficult because, in my mind, nobody compared to my W. This new positive side to her hasn't given me hope as much as stopped me giving up quite so soon. It's only been 9 months since we separated so in the grand scheme of things it could still be seen as early days. She's been out obviously trying to rediscover herself but seems to have frightened herself with the reality of what life was going to throw at her.
My plan now is to stay semi-distant but remain supportive. I'll be the best dad I possibly can be and let her see that as much as possible. In the mean time I need to have as much fun in life as I possibly can in finding my own way. I want her to see my life as something to be admired so that she wants to be a part of it again. It's going to be a very slow process but for the moment it's the way I truly feel my heart is going.
I've read in a few sitch's here that men give up much earlier than women when confronted with a WAS. I don't for a minute believe my W is anywhere near ready to come home but I have to do what I can to at least make her start seeing home as an option once again.
I'll do my best to have a good weekend MsM although I'll only be seeing Wee Man for a short part of it since it's my W's weekend with him. I'm going past tomorrow morning to take him swimming but that's as far as it goes so far. My W and I will probably end up speaking for a bit to sort out some more details of his birthday but I'm going to keep it short so as not to try too much, too soon.
I hope everyone following my thread has a good weekend too.
Kev
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
