You can do this Julia. It is hard at first but really it just seems as if every interaction causes pain. Let him see what he is losing by you not being there.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
NC really is wonderful. I wish I had less of it but alas, Marc keeps us having to interact in some way. You have Maple, who is like a child in a lot of ways, but if he would just fill out the paperwork you wouldn't even have to have contact for that.
I just wonder if he doesn't deal with these things because he's trying to keep a tenuous link to you. Hmmmm...just a passing thought.....
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Love it! Just been into my old bank and reactivated my old bank account in my old name and am in the process of transferring all my direct debits and stuff. Have phoned up my bank where our joint account exists and it seems I can remove my name without his signature so am in the process of doing that.
Phoned the pet insurance people and they were really nice and transferred the policy across for me. It involved me being a bit sneaky and phoning the vets to get numbers and stuff but it is all done.
So it is sorted. Severing the last links. It feels good...
Plus, he will have it on his credit that he hasn't cancelled it. I hold my hands up, I gave him ample opportunity. I don't see what else I could have done.
Question for gucci loafer. DO you think it is ever too late to try this? Our divorce has been in process for 1 1/2 years. I have remained hopeful, and he has given me hope, but not very much in the last months. We had hit a place where there was much anger between us and I rec'd suggestion from DB Coach to stop, and try to regain friendship. That happened, but it feels husband is quite fine remaining friends, infact I believe it is aleviating some of his guilt. I am sure the OW is still around, and maybe new ones. He has not attempted to stop divorce, although he has been flirtatious with me and calling more. I think it is time to make him uncomfortable, and make him wonder about me. I don't know that it will work at this late date.
I thought I'd stop by and add to your thread since you kindly did to mine.
It sounds as though you're doing really great. Well done on changing over the bank accounts and pet insurance. I know how that is as my W and I had everything joint. There's one account which is still in both our names but we've been in to the bank on a few occasions to try and split it but it doesn't seem to be working. It's the account my W now uses. I think the problem is that I was the first name on it. That possibly makes it more difficult. Who knows? It means the bank statements still get sent to my address but I know better than to pry in to what she's doing.
That fact you've been at this for 2 years gives me a bit of a kick up the arse in that I definitely think I was starting to giv up too early. I've only been separated for 8-9 months but was already throwing in the towel. At the end of the day, you have to be ready to say enough is enough. It may be a good thing for you to go completely dark. Got to be worth a try anyway eh?
Kev
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
